If there's one thing I loathe, it's when people say "I have no time". I hate myself when I say it too!
There's always enough time. It's a shame we don't utilise it properly. I'm no genius either. When I was a kid, I used to be so punctual with everything. If I said I would be home at 9.15pm, the doorbell would ring at exactly 9.15pm. I never used a watch when I was a kid. My mental clock was brilliant enough. Punctuality meant so much to me... it still does. It's a shame my mental clock and whatever else it is that's keeping me from being punctual won't get their act together.
I've been to work on time only a handful of times over the last year. Nobody minds because I always stay back late. I'm late for class. I'm late for pretty much every bloody thing. I've never missed an assignment deadline or been late for an exam though, but I'm late with my preparation and always leave things for the last minute.
I guess that's the problem. When I wake up in the morning for work, I have plenty of time to get to work on time... but I always get my mind fixated on the absolute last possible second that I need to leave home to make it to work at 9am sharp. I seem to forget that there are other variables... CityRail being the biggest one. No matter how much I try, I can't get myself to leave earlier than the latest possible time... or in project management terms, latest start time! Sometimes I convince myself so much that I have a lot of time to spare in the morning, that I end up using more of it than I can afford and end up leaving late. No, CityRail is not always at fault.
Maybe it's because of my time as a kid when I always reached wherever I needed to be exactly on time that's affecting me now. No matter how often I'm late, I never believe that I can't make it on time the next day.
Maybe I need to look at the earliest start time. Perhaps that would solve my little problem. I've been thinking about this for quite a few years now and even though I've come up with temporary solutions, I've never been able to put my finger on the cause of the problem... until now :) Who would have thought this post would help me relate "earliest start time" and "latest start time" to my punctuality issue.
Monday, 22 October 2007
Monday, 15 October 2007
Lateralus
"Black then white are all i see in my infancy. Red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me. Lets me see there is so much more and beckons me to look through to these infinite possibilities. As below, so above and beyond, I imagine drawn outside the lines of reason. Push the envelope. Watch it bend. Over thinking, over analysing separates the body from the mind. Withering my intuition leaving opportunities behind. Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line. Reaching out to embrace the random. Reaching out to embrace whatever may come."
"I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow to feel inspired to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral to swing on the spiral to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human. With my feet upon the ground I move myself between the sounds and open wide to suck it in. I feel it move across my skin. I'm reaching up and reaching out. I'm reaching for the random or whatever will bewilder me. Whatever will bewilder me. And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been. We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been. Spiral out. Keep going."
Introducing Maynard James Keenan, the most intelligent musician this world has ever known. He's the vocalist of Tool, a mesmerising band. If the lyrics above (taken from the song "Lateralus") don't capture your mind, a nuclear war won't phase you.
"Over thinking, over analysing" - how often do we do that. How often do I do that! Although I must admit, I don't do that as often as I used to... this song has had such an impact on my life. I first came across it about 5 years ago and it absolutely stunned me. It would need an entire day to go through the substance in it. Even the way Maynard sings it is surreal. I haven't included the lyrics of the entire song in this post... but the first few lines of this song are sung using the sequence of the Fibonacci series.
I think I'm going to listen to this song 10-20 times tonight and wake up in the morning relishing the promise that the morning brings.
"I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow to feel inspired to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral to swing on the spiral to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human. With my feet upon the ground I move myself between the sounds and open wide to suck it in. I feel it move across my skin. I'm reaching up and reaching out. I'm reaching for the random or whatever will bewilder me. Whatever will bewilder me. And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been. We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been. Spiral out. Keep going."
Introducing Maynard James Keenan, the most intelligent musician this world has ever known. He's the vocalist of Tool, a mesmerising band. If the lyrics above (taken from the song "Lateralus") don't capture your mind, a nuclear war won't phase you.
"Over thinking, over analysing" - how often do we do that. How often do I do that! Although I must admit, I don't do that as often as I used to... this song has had such an impact on my life. I first came across it about 5 years ago and it absolutely stunned me. It would need an entire day to go through the substance in it. Even the way Maynard sings it is surreal. I haven't included the lyrics of the entire song in this post... but the first few lines of this song are sung using the sequence of the Fibonacci series.
I think I'm going to listen to this song 10-20 times tonight and wake up in the morning relishing the promise that the morning brings.
Monday, 8 October 2007
Music - Motorheadache
The 5th of October... it will remain an epic memory for eternity!
Motörhead is their name... rock 'n roll is their game. Motörhead is a 3-piece band, which has been around for over 30 years. They're in their 60s now, but if you saw them perform on stage, you'd think they were in their early 40s. So there I was at the Enmore on the night of the 5th, overjoyed with the fact that I had a ticket to experience one of my favourite bands of all time in concert... they're GODS to metal and rock fans. When I got there, the ushers let me into the front section! Apparently I had a really good ticket and didn't know that I did (as the ticket only had General Admission written on it). I guess that's what $130 can get you. 2 bands played before the GODS and they were pretty good. Motörhead were incredible. Words cannot describe the performance... and to think I was in the first couple of rows for the entire gig. That's the stuff dreams are made of, wouldn't you agree? :)
Music has played a vital role all my life. Over the last 15 years or so, there haven't been many things I would value more than music. When I spoke to a few friends after the Motörhead concert, I remember saying something along the lines of "I've experienced enough happiness in my life now to take me through eternity." It's no surprise that Amnesty International uses music as a therapeutic aid. No matter how you feel, there's a song to fit the mood... to make you feel better or worse, depending on your preference.
Since I've come to this country, I've been privileged enough to experience my favourite bands in concert... Pearl Jam, Tool, Slayer and now Motorhead. There have been others too like the Kings of Leon and Mastodon. I've also been to a couple of other small gigs... But the first four were right up there on my list of things to do before I die. There are just three bands left... Metallica, Iron Maiden and Opeth. I already have my Iron Maiden ticket for February 2008 :D
Music has such an influence on everything I do... every assignment I work on... and what I do at work. I have my music going all day at work and when I'm working on my assignments and quite often when I'm studying as well. When I can't find motivation, I find it in music. I can't even imagine what this world would be like without it... what would the tv shows and movies be without themes and soundtracks? How boring! It really disappoints me when I meet people who don't care too much about music... who don't have a favourite genre or band or anything of the sort. How boring.
Motörhead is their name... rock 'n roll is their game. Motörhead is a 3-piece band, which has been around for over 30 years. They're in their 60s now, but if you saw them perform on stage, you'd think they were in their early 40s. So there I was at the Enmore on the night of the 5th, overjoyed with the fact that I had a ticket to experience one of my favourite bands of all time in concert... they're GODS to metal and rock fans. When I got there, the ushers let me into the front section! Apparently I had a really good ticket and didn't know that I did (as the ticket only had General Admission written on it). I guess that's what $130 can get you. 2 bands played before the GODS and they were pretty good. Motörhead were incredible. Words cannot describe the performance... and to think I was in the first couple of rows for the entire gig. That's the stuff dreams are made of, wouldn't you agree? :)
Music has played a vital role all my life. Over the last 15 years or so, there haven't been many things I would value more than music. When I spoke to a few friends after the Motörhead concert, I remember saying something along the lines of "I've experienced enough happiness in my life now to take me through eternity." It's no surprise that Amnesty International uses music as a therapeutic aid. No matter how you feel, there's a song to fit the mood... to make you feel better or worse, depending on your preference.
Since I've come to this country, I've been privileged enough to experience my favourite bands in concert... Pearl Jam, Tool, Slayer and now Motorhead. There have been others too like the Kings of Leon and Mastodon. I've also been to a couple of other small gigs... But the first four were right up there on my list of things to do before I die. There are just three bands left... Metallica, Iron Maiden and Opeth. I already have my Iron Maiden ticket for February 2008 :D
Music has such an influence on everything I do... every assignment I work on... and what I do at work. I have my music going all day at work and when I'm working on my assignments and quite often when I'm studying as well. When I can't find motivation, I find it in music. I can't even imagine what this world would be like without it... what would the tv shows and movies be without themes and soundtracks? How boring! It really disappoints me when I meet people who don't care too much about music... who don't have a favourite genre or band or anything of the sort. How boring.
Monday, 1 October 2007
My Life - Destiny (Part 2)
It's been such a crazy week. It started with the online test for Project Management Competencies (Operational) and then we had the workshop. It was quite hectic to say the least.
Not much to add this week... can't believe I have the strength to do this right now! But an interesting thought crossed my mind moments ago following on from what I touched last week... destiny.
The day I stopped worrying about my life as much as I used to in the past was the day when I stopped trying to figure out what the future had in store for me. What's the point? It would just make me feel terrible today. So, I just do what I have to do to survive and stop trying to make sense of everything. God hasn't made us smart enough to find the answer to our existence.
"The only thing to be scared of is tomorrow. I don't live for tomorrow. Never saw the fun in it."-Denny Crane (Boston Legal)
Not much to add this week... can't believe I have the strength to do this right now! But an interesting thought crossed my mind moments ago following on from what I touched last week... destiny.
The day I stopped worrying about my life as much as I used to in the past was the day when I stopped trying to figure out what the future had in store for me. What's the point? It would just make me feel terrible today. So, I just do what I have to do to survive and stop trying to make sense of everything. God hasn't made us smart enough to find the answer to our existence.
"The only thing to be scared of is tomorrow. I don't live for tomorrow. Never saw the fun in it."-Denny Crane (Boston Legal)
Monday, 24 September 2007
My Career - Destiny (Part 1)
Earlier this week, I had a long conversation with my best friend (the one I mentioned a few weeks ago) about my life in Sydney, my career and her life and career. We ended up talking about 'destiny' for quite some time.
Destiny is a phenomenon... quite like God. Those who believe in one tend to believe in the other. Most people in today's world choose not to believe in it. Then there are those who blame God and destiny for everything that's wrong with their lives.
I believe in both... and I have personal experiences to prove it.
I work for a software company called RCS Australia (which is owned by RCS, Inc. - an American company, which in turn is owned by Clear Channel - yet another American company; a gigantic one). We sell software products and services to radio stations all around the world and also to TV stations. We have clients all over Australia from Austereo to MTV to SonyBMG.
My bachelor's degree is in Business Administration. I'm not doing what I thought I would be at this age; working in the IT industry never crossed my mind even once back then. I never decided what I wanted to do and still have no bloody clue. The reason I'm happy with my career right now is because I've accepted the fact that it's not me calling the shots (apart from the fact that I like what I do). Sure I have choice and if I didn't work hard, I wouldn't have what I have today... but I'm no different than my friend. She works really hard and excels at what she does (even though she hates her job and her industry). I think she just needs to come to realise someday that there is such a thing as destiny after all. That little thought in your head making you think about what to do next and considering other alternatives isn't all you. You are doing what you're meant to be doing and you will do what's planned for you. I've liked Australia ever since I was a kid for no apparent reason. I was close to moving to Europe two years ago but I got a promotion back in India and chose to stay put. A year later I find myself in Australia with a good job and the life I could only dream about not too long ago. Reality is the stuff dreams are made of I guess. :)
Destiny is a phenomenon... quite like God. Those who believe in one tend to believe in the other. Most people in today's world choose not to believe in it. Then there are those who blame God and destiny for everything that's wrong with their lives.
I believe in both... and I have personal experiences to prove it.
I work for a software company called RCS Australia (which is owned by RCS, Inc. - an American company, which in turn is owned by Clear Channel - yet another American company; a gigantic one). We sell software products and services to radio stations all around the world and also to TV stations. We have clients all over Australia from Austereo to MTV to SonyBMG.
My bachelor's degree is in Business Administration. I'm not doing what I thought I would be at this age; working in the IT industry never crossed my mind even once back then. I never decided what I wanted to do and still have no bloody clue. The reason I'm happy with my career right now is because I've accepted the fact that it's not me calling the shots (apart from the fact that I like what I do). Sure I have choice and if I didn't work hard, I wouldn't have what I have today... but I'm no different than my friend. She works really hard and excels at what she does (even though she hates her job and her industry). I think she just needs to come to realise someday that there is such a thing as destiny after all. That little thought in your head making you think about what to do next and considering other alternatives isn't all you. You are doing what you're meant to be doing and you will do what's planned for you. I've liked Australia ever since I was a kid for no apparent reason. I was close to moving to Europe two years ago but I got a promotion back in India and chose to stay put. A year later I find myself in Australia with a good job and the life I could only dream about not too long ago. Reality is the stuff dreams are made of I guess. :)
Monday, 17 September 2007
Business as usual?
Certainly not. This week has been so extra-ordinary. I celebrated my birthday earlier in the week and to most people, having to spend the entire day at work isn't the best way to celebrate your birthday... but it turned out to be wonderful for me.
At our office, normally a birthday cake is bought for a birthday. However, as everyone knows I don't have a sweet tooth and am a big fan of beer and pizza (the heavenly combination), my boss decided to order loads of pizza for everyone (there's never a shortage of beer at the office... our fridge is always stocked with beer and we're allowed to drink whenever we please). Just before we could relish the pizza, my boss decided to say a few words. It's worth noting that I'm an international student and have been in Sydney only since July 2006 (about as long as I've had my part-time job, even though I've been associated with the company for almost 3 years now). Back to the speech then... my boss said quite a few good things about my contribution to the company and my importance and then announced to everyone that they were going to hire me full-time next year and that I would receive a sponsorship from the company. Most international students spend their time in the country thinking about permanent residency and worrying about it. I chose not to spend my time doing that and just getting on with uni and work. The result was that in my second semester I earned 3 distinctions in the 3 subjects I studied at UTS and had a very productive year with my company. While it was great news to hear about my boss' decision and it was a fantastic birthday present, I'd be lying if I said I didn't half-expect it. The timing was remarkable though.
It's been a sensational week to say the least. I don't believe in luck so I shrug off comments like "you're lucky" from other people. You reap what you sow and if I didn't work hard, I wouldn't have been rewarded. I guess the key thing I've learnt from this is that if you love something enough, you put your heart into it and it does not go un-noticed. I love my job and I give it everything I have. If you can't put your heart into something you're doing, then you're probably not doing the right thing.
At our office, normally a birthday cake is bought for a birthday. However, as everyone knows I don't have a sweet tooth and am a big fan of beer and pizza (the heavenly combination), my boss decided to order loads of pizza for everyone (there's never a shortage of beer at the office... our fridge is always stocked with beer and we're allowed to drink whenever we please). Just before we could relish the pizza, my boss decided to say a few words. It's worth noting that I'm an international student and have been in Sydney only since July 2006 (about as long as I've had my part-time job, even though I've been associated with the company for almost 3 years now). Back to the speech then... my boss said quite a few good things about my contribution to the company and my importance and then announced to everyone that they were going to hire me full-time next year and that I would receive a sponsorship from the company. Most international students spend their time in the country thinking about permanent residency and worrying about it. I chose not to spend my time doing that and just getting on with uni and work. The result was that in my second semester I earned 3 distinctions in the 3 subjects I studied at UTS and had a very productive year with my company. While it was great news to hear about my boss' decision and it was a fantastic birthday present, I'd be lying if I said I didn't half-expect it. The timing was remarkable though.
It's been a sensational week to say the least. I don't believe in luck so I shrug off comments like "you're lucky" from other people. You reap what you sow and if I didn't work hard, I wouldn't have been rewarded. I guess the key thing I've learnt from this is that if you love something enough, you put your heart into it and it does not go un-noticed. I love my job and I give it everything I have. If you can't put your heart into something you're doing, then you're probably not doing the right thing.
Monday, 3 September 2007
My Friends
September... you just gotta love it! It's my favourite month of the year (although December comes pretty close). Most of us tend to like the month our birthday falls in more than any other. Why is that? Why do we feel so special on our birthday and so full of excitement and happiness? ...so much so that it spreads out to almost an entire month!
I'm not certain of the answer but I have a few ideas...We consider the day we're born special of course because we're such special people (modesty goes out the window). Now if only we were excited enough by our very existence that we reminded ourselves at least once a week of the fact that we can do so much with our lives on any particular day. Cynicism wouldn't stand a chance. But of course, human nature isn't going to allow any of that... tut tut... no happy thoughts beyond the acceptable limit. Frown. Complain. Criticise. Ah... the "joys" of life! I suppose complaining about human nature here is yet another example of human nature... converting really happy thoughts (first couple of lines) to really cynical ones.... *sigh*
Anyway, I would like to make a quick note about my friends, what they mean to me and what I mean to them. I refuse to use the term "friend" loosely and it takes years of trust (or very rare exceptions) for me to consider anyone a friend. I guess that's why they trust me so much. They trust me enough to always come to me first for advice even when I'm in no position to help them. Somehow, I always have something to say, which turns out to be useful. A friend of mine sent me an e-mail this week talking about how good my life is and how things have turned out for me just the way I wanted them to and asked for my advice with regard to her life. Of course I know her well enough to let her know what I think she's really good at and what would suit her quite well. That's when it struck me though... I really don't know what I want to do and I don't think I ever have. And that's when I realised that the best advice I could give her was to live today as if there was no tomorrow. If you don't think about tomorrow, is there really anything to fear?
Stay tuned for the next exciting episode. By the way Shankar, if you're still awake and reading this (I'd be amazed), I've decided to publish a post on my blog just once a week. This is a practice I used to follow a few years ago and it worked for me back then. I think it's a bit hard to find the time to reflect 3 times a week and after a couple of weeks, it feels like you're just doing it for the sake of the assignment. I really don't want that to happen here as this is an opportunity for me to get back to writing... maybe if I'm motivated enough, I'll start writing poetry again!
I'm not certain of the answer but I have a few ideas...We consider the day we're born special of course because we're such special people (modesty goes out the window). Now if only we were excited enough by our very existence that we reminded ourselves at least once a week of the fact that we can do so much with our lives on any particular day. Cynicism wouldn't stand a chance. But of course, human nature isn't going to allow any of that... tut tut... no happy thoughts beyond the acceptable limit. Frown. Complain. Criticise. Ah... the "joys" of life! I suppose complaining about human nature here is yet another example of human nature... converting really happy thoughts (first couple of lines) to really cynical ones.... *sigh*
Anyway, I would like to make a quick note about my friends, what they mean to me and what I mean to them. I refuse to use the term "friend" loosely and it takes years of trust (or very rare exceptions) for me to consider anyone a friend. I guess that's why they trust me so much. They trust me enough to always come to me first for advice even when I'm in no position to help them. Somehow, I always have something to say, which turns out to be useful. A friend of mine sent me an e-mail this week talking about how good my life is and how things have turned out for me just the way I wanted them to and asked for my advice with regard to her life. Of course I know her well enough to let her know what I think she's really good at and what would suit her quite well. That's when it struck me though... I really don't know what I want to do and I don't think I ever have. And that's when I realised that the best advice I could give her was to live today as if there was no tomorrow. If you don't think about tomorrow, is there really anything to fear?
Stay tuned for the next exciting episode. By the way Shankar, if you're still awake and reading this (I'd be amazed), I've decided to publish a post on my blog just once a week. This is a practice I used to follow a few years ago and it worked for me back then. I think it's a bit hard to find the time to reflect 3 times a week and after a couple of weeks, it feels like you're just doing it for the sake of the assignment. I really don't want that to happen here as this is an opportunity for me to get back to writing... maybe if I'm motivated enough, I'll start writing poetry again!
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